On February 7th, in his first Instagram Live feed, Choi Seung Hyun/T.O.P interacted with fans while at a restaurant. He appeared to be pretty somber and maybe a bit sad. The life of an idol can be terribly lonely. Maybe that was why he reached out, saying, “I just wanted to show you how I am at least once. I just wanted to show people how I’m living because I don’t think they know. I’m always apologetic to my fans.”

During his live feed T.O.P stated that he would not promote in Korea anymore:

“I won’t make a Korean comeback. I don’t want to make any kind of comeback… They are so evil — people.”

It’s no surprise that T.O.P might feel that way, given the brutal mental and emotional beating the Korean media and K-netizens, and even Korean fans gave him over the charge of smoking pot a couple of times with a trainee. The Korean media and netizens flayed him for the pot charges, shamed him for his resulting suicide attempt, and then slammed him again for wearing some BB cream to court when he recovered so he would look more than half alive. 

He really couldn’t catch a break from the vicious attacks.

After having so much hate thrown his way, and then having to finish his military service time in a state of disgrace, Choi Seung Hyun has stayed out of the public eye as much as possible. A live Instagram feed was quite a surprise for fans.

When fans asked T.O.P how he was doing he said, “I’m not good. I’m not good. Actually, I’m not good.” A short time later, he backtracked just a bit, saying, “I’m not great. Yeah, I’m good. I’m not great.”

It appeared that some of the fans thought he might be drunk, however, he insisted he was not drunk, that he was sober, and when a fan asked if he was alone he said, “No I’m not drinking. I’m always sober. Yeah, I’m always alone.” 

Such a heartbreaking response leaves us with a lot to think about in regards to how we treat the very celebrities who give up their time, a satisfying personal life, and also their privacy, in order to entertain us.